Gentle readers,
I shall write a follow-up on the things I learned at TAM (both useful and not-so-useful) very soon, but I had to pass along something that happened to me this afternoon.
Here at the Local Big XII University Where I Work, I often meet with potential donors of materials to our digital collections. They're always very nice, and I enjoy this PR-ish part of my job.
We had a group of women of a certain age come in today; one of them was interested in having her ancestor's letters from the Civil War digitized and added to our collection. No sweat -- I've done this presentation a million times, know how to charm 'em (much like Max Bialystock from "The Producers," except without the icky, icky sex), so I started my spiel.
In the middle of the discourse, after I had discussed a part of a previous project I was particularly proud of, one of the potential donor's friends said, "You're smarter than you look, Eric."
Anyone who's seen "Superbad" will recognize the basis for what I wanted to say in reply: "I hope that comment makes you feel some comfort in your remaining days, lady!"
Of course, I didn't say anything of the sort, just nodded, giggled, and nursed a deep-seated grudge that will endure to the ends of time. Y'know, the usual.
The upshot is that we're going to be digitizing these letters, so it's all good, but there's just something about a sassy septuagenarian on a Monday afternoon that puts a burr in my saddle.
'Til next time, gentle readers!
3/26/08
News Flash from TAM!
I had to break my conference-induced silence to bring you this late-breaking piece of information:
There is no masculine way to carry a canvas tote bag.
I'm sure none of you had ever thought about this before, but God knows I wish I had. I was simply unprepared for the ramifications of how to transport a meeting booklet, notes, and note pad in a freebie, giveaway canvas tote without looking like a complete girl. It just can't be done.
Over the shoulder? Straps are too short -- ends up wedged under your armpit.
In the hand? Looks like an oversized clutch.
In the crook of the elbow? Please -- that's just asking for a whipping.
Basically the only option is to roll the whole thing up like a set of architectural blueprints and carry them like a caveman's club, but that ruins the integrity of the items inside. It is a quandary, my friends.
In other news, here's a picture of me in an 1832 steam locomotive!
All aboard!
'Til next time, this is the Curmudgeon saying for once, conference food has been better than expected ... although, that ain't sayin' a whole lot, y'know?
There is no masculine way to carry a canvas tote bag.
I'm sure none of you had ever thought about this before, but God knows I wish I had. I was simply unprepared for the ramifications of how to transport a meeting booklet, notes, and note pad in a freebie, giveaway canvas tote without looking like a complete girl. It just can't be done.
Over the shoulder? Straps are too short -- ends up wedged under your armpit.
In the hand? Looks like an oversized clutch.
In the crook of the elbow? Please -- that's just asking for a whipping.
Basically the only option is to roll the whole thing up like a set of architectural blueprints and carry them like a caveman's club, but that ruins the integrity of the items inside. It is a quandary, my friends.
In other news, here's a picture of me in an 1832 steam locomotive!
All aboard!'Til next time, this is the Curmudgeon saying for once, conference food has been better than expected ... although, that ain't sayin' a whole lot, y'know?
3/25/08
Galveston bound
Well, for the three of you who actually read this thing, I guess you should know that I'm on my way to Galveston for a 4-day conference. It's the Texas Association of Museums' annual conference, and it'll be a week of fun, sun, sandy beaches ... wait, actually it'll be conference rooms, cold coffee, and little sleep. But it should be a good time for all, nonetheless.
I'm not sure if I'll actually manage to post anything whilst I'm away or not, but check back occasionally, if you feel like it -- your diligence may be rewarded! Or, it won't. Whichever.
'Til next time, this is the Curmudgeon, signing off for the sunny Texas coast!
I'm not sure if I'll actually manage to post anything whilst I'm away or not, but check back occasionally, if you feel like it -- your diligence may be rewarded! Or, it won't. Whichever.
'Til next time, this is the Curmudgeon, signing off for the sunny Texas coast!
3/19/08
It's Always Something in Waco
As most of you are no doubt aware, I live in Waco. Yes, go ahead, get it all out of your system: I am INDEED a member of the Branch Davidians, and between time at the compound, I spend my days murdering basketball players while drafting apologies for lynchings and protesting at the President's ranch.
For anyone who reads these words and doesn't think of these things, I have to ask: How long have you been living under a rock? Because let's face it, if it's one thing Waco has, it's a reputation. An undeserved one in many cases (see: the Davidian meltdown at Mt. Carmel), but one thing is certain. It's always something in Waco.
Which gave me a great idea for a semi-recurring theme to the new Greetings, Gentle Readers! I could take an opportunity every now and again to point out the little things that make this city unique; the things that set us apart from other cities of a certain size, nay, the stories that make this Jerusalem on the Brazos what it is today.
Stories like this: a 100-pound six-year-old wants to enroll at the better of the two local school districts. What's the big deal? you may ask. Obese 1st graders are a dime a portly dozen. True enough, but Pharoah K. (I kid you not -- that's his name) has another problem, namely his 14-inch long hairdo.
You see, Pharoah's mom says his "unique" style is religious in nature, having been derived from a passage in the book of Judges that says a man loses part of his power when he cuts his hair. However, this is in direct conflict with the school district's hairstyle policy for male students, which says hair can't be below the eyebrows (bangs), the middle of the ear, or past the collar in the back. A bit stricter than some of us had to deal with while growing up, but pretty fair and clearly spelled out, right? It's obviously intended to keep kids' hairstyles from being a distraction, regardless of the religious intent behind it.
Did I mention that there's just one problem with mommy's argument about not cutting her kid's hair? Take a look for yourself:
Ummm...
For anyone who reads these words and doesn't think of these things, I have to ask: How long have you been living under a rock? Because let's face it, if it's one thing Waco has, it's a reputation. An undeserved one in many cases (see: the Davidian meltdown at Mt. Carmel), but one thing is certain. It's always something in Waco.
Which gave me a great idea for a semi-recurring theme to the new Greetings, Gentle Readers! I could take an opportunity every now and again to point out the little things that make this city unique; the things that set us apart from other cities of a certain size, nay, the stories that make this Jerusalem on the Brazos what it is today.
Stories like this: a 100-pound six-year-old wants to enroll at the better of the two local school districts. What's the big deal? you may ask. Obese 1st graders are a dime a portly dozen. True enough, but Pharoah K. (I kid you not -- that's his name) has another problem, namely his 14-inch long hairdo.
You see, Pharoah's mom says his "unique" style is religious in nature, having been derived from a passage in the book of Judges that says a man loses part of his power when he cuts his hair. However, this is in direct conflict with the school district's hairstyle policy for male students, which says hair can't be below the eyebrows (bangs), the middle of the ear, or past the collar in the back. A bit stricter than some of us had to deal with while growing up, but pretty fair and clearly spelled out, right? It's obviously intended to keep kids' hairstyles from being a distraction, regardless of the religious intent behind it.
Did I mention that there's just one problem with mommy's argument about not cutting her kid's hair? Take a look for yourself:
Ummm...Not to nitpick here, folks, but doesn't it look like almost all of his hair has been cut at some point, except for his mega-long rattail? Doesn't that kind of defeat the purpose of claiming a scriptural precedent? Cause I'm pretty sure the passage doesn't say, "Yea, cutting a man's hair (except for a skinny, braided rattail you keep in the midst of the rest of his oddly-shaved and quasi-dredlocked hair) shall reduce his power, so be sure and keep that rattail nicely braided."
Now, when I first read about this, I expected this kid to have 14-inch long hair all over his head, but to me, the idea that preserving a rattail serves as a basis for religious exemption is absurd. Not to mention the fact that mom has been raising holy hell the past few days, saying her son has been denied admission to the district because of his hair.
Point of fact: the school district is on the record as stating that they'll happily allow him to enroll ... as long as he agrees to abide by the district's dress code. Sounds reasonable enough, doesn't it?
But I'm sure this will lead to some kind of big "freedom of expression" or "religious expression" debate, and the very fact that this whole story was front page news just goes to illustrate my point: No matter what kind of great news is happening in this town, when it comes to what makes the headlines, it's always something in Waco.
Post script: In my humble opinion, a six-year-old who weighs 100 lbs. is suffering from a kind of child abuse. I'm just sayin'.
Now, when I first read about this, I expected this kid to have 14-inch long hair all over his head, but to me, the idea that preserving a rattail serves as a basis for religious exemption is absurd. Not to mention the fact that mom has been raising holy hell the past few days, saying her son has been denied admission to the district because of his hair.
Point of fact: the school district is on the record as stating that they'll happily allow him to enroll ... as long as he agrees to abide by the district's dress code. Sounds reasonable enough, doesn't it?
But I'm sure this will lead to some kind of big "freedom of expression" or "religious expression" debate, and the very fact that this whole story was front page news just goes to illustrate my point: No matter what kind of great news is happening in this town, when it comes to what makes the headlines, it's always something in Waco.
Post script: In my humble opinion, a six-year-old who weighs 100 lbs. is suffering from a kind of child abuse. I'm just sayin'.
3/14/08
Food Finds Friday!
Well, if I'm going to go through with this "bring the Curmudgeon" back thing, I guess it'd make sense to have some content, eh? And lucky you -- today's Friday, so it's the long-awaited (by someone, I'm sure) return of Food finds Friday! Today's subject: Cinnabon Cinnamon Bread with Cinnamon Bursts!
I know what you're thinking: sweet creamery butter, Curmudgeon! Why in the world would someone want to take something universally avowed as awesome (Cinnabon), and add it to something so mundane as bread? Isn't keeping the Cinnabon pure and un-combined-with-other-foods the way to go?
To which I say, "Yes, in a sane and logical world, that would be correct. But we're not living in a sane and logical world, are we?" Thus, we have this:
Does not compute.
At first glance, it looks like something perfectly harmless (if a bit over the top): bread containing "bursts" of cinnamon-sugar goodness that are purported to taste like a piping hot Cinnabon. The concept seems simple enough, especially given our propensity for consuming mass quantities of bready goodness.
But lurking under this unassuming facade is a nefarious secret: Cinnabon Cinnamon Bread with Cinnamon Bursts is evil. Don't believe me? Check out this chart for irrefutable evidence!
Indisputable.
You see, friends, while combining the best qualities of a mall-based, calorie-laden treat with a staple of the modern diet may seem pretty tame, I think it actually presages the end of society as we know it. Let's review a few key facts, shall we?
1. Everybody has to eat
2. Everybody loves Cinnabon
3. Everybody loves bread
4. Put the two together, get people hooked, wait for the worldwide economy to collapse, offer free Cinnabon Cinnamon Bread with Cinnamon Bursts as a means of controlling the post-apocalyptic landscape
5. Profit
See how this works? Friends, I kid you not when I say this stuff is a loaf of crack, as far as I'm concerned. Forget the fact that it's delicious, especially when toasted and slathered in butter. Forget the fact that it's a mere 150 calories per slice. Even forget the fact that it's available in grocery stores and Wal-Marts near you. Because once you try this stuff, you'll be hooked, and it's only a matter of time before you're putting armor on a dune buggy, wearing an eye patch, and raiding the camps of nuclear blast survivors for bottled water and camouflage pants. Trust me on this.
I give Cinnabon Cinnamon Bread with Cinnamon Bursts 3 Rolls on the Inner Fatty Fat Roll scale for taste, and 5 Black Helicopters on the Inner Paranoid Conspiracy Theories scale. This stuff is delicious, but watch out: after one taste, you're hooked, and it's just a short ride to mind control, mass hysteria, and "re-education" camps. Consider yourself warned.
I know what you're thinking: sweet creamery butter, Curmudgeon! Why in the world would someone want to take something universally avowed as awesome (Cinnabon), and add it to something so mundane as bread? Isn't keeping the Cinnabon pure and un-combined-with-other-foods the way to go?
To which I say, "Yes, in a sane and logical world, that would be correct. But we're not living in a sane and logical world, are we?" Thus, we have this:
Does not compute.At first glance, it looks like something perfectly harmless (if a bit over the top): bread containing "bursts" of cinnamon-sugar goodness that are purported to taste like a piping hot Cinnabon. The concept seems simple enough, especially given our propensity for consuming mass quantities of bready goodness.
But lurking under this unassuming facade is a nefarious secret: Cinnabon Cinnamon Bread with Cinnamon Bursts is evil. Don't believe me? Check out this chart for irrefutable evidence!
Indisputable.You see, friends, while combining the best qualities of a mall-based, calorie-laden treat with a staple of the modern diet may seem pretty tame, I think it actually presages the end of society as we know it. Let's review a few key facts, shall we?
1. Everybody has to eat
2. Everybody loves Cinnabon
3. Everybody loves bread
4. Put the two together, get people hooked, wait for the worldwide economy to collapse, offer free Cinnabon Cinnamon Bread with Cinnamon Bursts as a means of controlling the post-apocalyptic landscape
5. Profit
See how this works? Friends, I kid you not when I say this stuff is a loaf of crack, as far as I'm concerned. Forget the fact that it's delicious, especially when toasted and slathered in butter. Forget the fact that it's a mere 150 calories per slice. Even forget the fact that it's available in grocery stores and Wal-Marts near you. Because once you try this stuff, you'll be hooked, and it's only a matter of time before you're putting armor on a dune buggy, wearing an eye patch, and raiding the camps of nuclear blast survivors for bottled water and camouflage pants. Trust me on this.
I give Cinnabon Cinnamon Bread with Cinnamon Bursts 3 Rolls on the Inner Fatty Fat Roll scale for taste, and 5 Black Helicopters on the Inner Paranoid Conspiracy Theories scale. This stuff is delicious, but watch out: after one taste, you're hooked, and it's just a short ride to mind control, mass hysteria, and "re-education" camps. Consider yourself warned.
3/13/08
Pleased to meet you -- won't you guess my name?
Greetings, gentle readers, and welcome to what can only be called TWC 2.0. For those of you who were familiar with my weekly rantings against societal convention, I want to say this right up front: I let you down, and I know it. I didn't post anything new for months. Baby, I was weak! I swear, I won't do it again -- you know I'm good for you, baby! Give Daddy some sugar ...
Wait -- that got creepy, didn't it? My apologies.
Ahem.
It has been far too long since my last departure into Rantville, and I have done much soul searching in the interim. I have decided that my old place of posting is no longer relevant, and as such I have taken up residence here at blogspot.com. I like the look of this new place: nice neighborhood, plenty of streetlights, friendly people, lenient social conventions ...
Anyway, as you can probably tell, this will be a new home for what you all came to expect from The Weekly Curmudgeon, right down to obscure references, food obsessions, and societal commentary. But wait! There's more!
Not only will you see some of your old favorites reborn (Food Finds Fridays, Historical Haiku Thursdays!), you'll also gain new insight into my life as a full-time employee/graduate student at the Local Big XII University, what it means to be a nearly-30-year-old male in today's America, and lots of other stuff that other, more capable bloggers have been covering for years now, only with lots of references to museums! Won't that be fun?!
'Til next time, you have been great, I have been the Curmudgeon. Goodnight, everybody!
Wait -- that got creepy, didn't it? My apologies.
Ahem.
It has been far too long since my last departure into Rantville, and I have done much soul searching in the interim. I have decided that my old place of posting is no longer relevant, and as such I have taken up residence here at blogspot.com. I like the look of this new place: nice neighborhood, plenty of streetlights, friendly people, lenient social conventions ...
Anyway, as you can probably tell, this will be a new home for what you all came to expect from The Weekly Curmudgeon, right down to obscure references, food obsessions, and societal commentary. But wait! There's more!
Not only will you see some of your old favorites reborn (Food Finds Fridays, Historical Haiku Thursdays!), you'll also gain new insight into my life as a full-time employee/graduate student at the Local Big XII University, what it means to be a nearly-30-year-old male in today's America, and lots of other stuff that other, more capable bloggers have been covering for years now, only with lots of references to museums! Won't that be fun?!
'Til next time, you have been great, I have been the Curmudgeon. Goodnight, everybody!
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