If I give you some big news, will you forgive my absence?

So, I know it's been awhile since I posted here, but I think I can make it up to you by saying this:

I AM GOING TO BE A PARENT.
Photographic proof

Big enough news for ya? ;)

Now that you've all stopped shouting for joy/jumping up and down/regained consciousness, I'll tell you that we're both very excited, and that Baby A. is due around July 12th. We had a great checkup at Amy's doctor's office today, and all is proceeding according to plan. Lots of big changes on the way, but I assure you, Gentle Readers, that my offspring will be welcomed by two loving, excited (and sometimes a bit overwhelmed) parents.

Thanks for your support, and if I hit you up for diaper money some time around August, help a brother out and go get me some Pampers. Your humble host will appreciate it.

Best,
Eric, Amy and Baby A.

The UFO Festival Parade -- Roswell, NM

I know it's been a long time since I've broken radio silence, but the wife has posted some photos on her blog of our recent trip to Roswell, NM over the Fourth of July weekend, and as she decided to call me out on my lack of recent posts, I thought I'd answer by giving you all a glimpse at what was one of the strangest events from that weekend of a scant month ago: the UFO Festival Parade.

We'll start with a look down Main Street (below).

Looks normal enough, right? Lots of cars, people milling around, clear skies. So why does Evin look so frightened?

Because kids are freaking smart, that's why. She knew -- KNEW -- that there was going to be some freaky stuff going down that night, and it might have started when she saw the guy in the next pic.

Yup, it's a Yoda backpack. Innocuous, you say? Not enough to give an infant the Bug-Eyed Crazy Stare, you say? You may be right. But do you know what is? THIS:

AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!

Later, the parade got started in earnest. Yes, that is Jefferson Starship (minus Grace Slick) riding on a trailer hitched to a pickup truck bearing a banner proclaiming them the "Grand Martians" for the parade. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

Up next, a gaggle of aliens from various points of the galaxy.

Followed by an alien of a much more local type: the Split-Bearded Redneck Dragon Enthusiast.

Also: the streets were full of Pooh.

Unless I miss my guess, these next folks are only about 2 decades too late to jump on the hey-aren't-the-Coneheads-hip-and-cool bandwagon. But extra points for putting their ACTUAL CHILD in a spaceship-shaped stroller.

Much to my surprise, there were not one but TWO different "floats" created by companies that promised to give your little ones the birthday of their dreams thanks to the presence of people dressed in costumes. And by "birthday of their dreams," I of course mean "event that will haunt their recurring nightmares well into adulthood."

The tall drink of water on the right (below) was a dude. We'll leave it at that.

Our "out of state" visitors even have an official welcome vehicle!

Finally, things wrapped up with a trio of "out-of-this-world" (sorry) musicians who tried (mostly in vain) to get people pumped and singing along to some original compositions. Their lack of success in that area proved that aliens continue to crash in Roswell right up to the present.

I hope you enjoyed this long-delayed, mostly mocking pictorial overview of the UFO Festival Parade in Roswell, NM. And I hope you're not scarred for life by the bug-eyed lady smoking cigarettes, as I was.

-- The Curmudgeon

A Note Concerning the Release of My Book, or, Hey, Something I Wrote is Available on Amazon.com!

Greetings, gentle readers, and congratulations on witnessing an event that has become as rare as finding an honest politician: That’s right, it’s an updated GGR post! Despite my assertions that I would not wait several months to update this little corner of the Internet, I have indeed been remiss in my blogging responsibilities, and it has been months since I last broke my communicative silence.

But I’m happy to report that I’m back, if for no other reason than to – what else? – hock my new book, Waco, which is available from a number of reputable online retailers! That’s right, the book I spent the last half of last year working on is coming ever closer to being a physical reality in brick-and-mortar stores around the country, but it’s available for pre-orders on major booksellers’ Web sites RIGHT NOW. (Note: I am barely able to restrain my Inner Teenage Girl at the moment; she’s the part of me that wanted to end the previous sentence with, “OMG! ;)!!!!11!!1!!” Thank God I was able to keep her under wraps.)

You can find Waco, part of the Images of America series from Arcadia Publishing, online at:

Arcadia Publishing

Amazon.com

BarnesandNoble.com

GoHastings.com

Borders.com

It would be unbelievably gauche of me to suggest you purchase Waco at any one of these retailers over the other, as they will all count towards my sales totals, but if I were able to crack the top 500,000 books available on Amazon.com, I would probably just about die, so if putting me near the verge of the Great Beyond is something that gives you any amount of joy, try Amazon first. Otherwise, I make the following offer to any and all who purchase my book: If you bring me a copy, I will sign it for you, free of charge, and – even better! – I’ll sign it with Whatever You Want Me To Say. That’s right, no matter how dirty, inappropriate, salacious, delicious, or destructive, I will autograph your copy of Waco with my very own Sharpie – no questions asked.

So get out there and start inflating my sales numbers, gentle readers!

Until next time, this is the Curmudgeon saying that though I have been absent from your screens the past few months, rest assured that you have not been absent from my heart. (Note: the preceding sentence was intended as a sop to your consciences so that you might be motivated to purchase my book. I hope that wasn’t too transparent.)

A festive update

Yes, yes, I know it's been a looong time since I've addressed you, gentle readers, and I can only blame myself. Well, I could blame others -- that's a lot more fun -- but I really don't have much excuse other than to say I've been taking care of the following:

1. Finishing my book, "Images of America: Waco" (Due in stores and online next Spring)

2. Finishing my third semester of graduate school. Result: straight A's, baby.

3. Becoming increasingly active at work, where we opened a new office suite, acquired some new scanning technology, and led more tours of the digitization center than I can count.

4. Saving the world, one fragile printed item at at time.

5. Serving on the Historic Landmark Preservation Commission for the Central Texas City Where I Live, of which I am now the vice-chair.

6. Sleeping (occasionally)

All that to say that I was inspired to do a quick post to thank all three of you for sticking with the GGR blog this past year. I promise to come back to you with much greater frequency and with greater content than ever before. Also, if you're interested, my wife is maintaining a blog now, but it's by private invite only, so if you'd like to become a reader, let me know and I'll get you on the list. (Because I've got some serious pull with the LSW, let me tell you.)

Anyway, my best wishes to all of you for a Merry Christmas and a prosperous and blessed 2009.

-- The Curmudgeon

Hello, Readers, my old friends ...

Let's get this out of the way first: yes, I know it's been forever since I last posted. Like, four months (give or take). Yes, I know that a human child could reach roughly half-way from conception to birth in that time, and yes, I know that equals 120 days. I know, I get it: I'm a jerk.

That being said, this is just a short update post so you'll know I'm not dead -- although, tbh, the three of you who read this blog already knew that, because I'm either married to or related to you.

Updates!

1. The book is coming along nicely. I've seen a proof of the cover, and I've got 3/5 of the chapters written and sent to the publisher. So far, so good!

2. School continues to chug along. I just returned from a field trip to San Antonio and Fredericksburg, and I've discovered that I really, really, REALLY like rouladen. If you don't know what that is, look it up, find somewhere that makes it, and increase the quality of your life.

3. The Long Suffering Wife and I are keeping far busier than should be allowed, but we've found a good deal of time to spend with our dear friends D. and L. and their two adorable kiddos. I got all weepy and emotional the other night when a 3-month-old baby fell asleep in my arms. Yes, I'm mostly female; yes, I'm okay with that.

No other huge news of note, it just seems that this semester has moved with a speed normally reserved for interstellar travel and the time it takes me to decide if I'd like to sample the latest Starbucks signature hot chocolate. (Note to readers: the salted caramel hot chocolate will destroy all other hot chocolates for you forever. You have been warned.)

Hope all three of you are doing well, and I promise it won't be 4 months before you hear from me again. Although, given how terribly this election is looking to end, the next time you hear from me may be a CB radio transmission from the smoking rubble that was the People's Republic of the Central Texas Town Where I Live. Stay strong, comrades!

-- The Curmudgeon

Exciting News from the Curmudgeon

Greetings, gentle readers, and welcome to a breaking news edition of GGR! That's right, it's time for me to reveal the source for my sporadic posting, lapses into silence, and all-around jittery behavior as of late.

I am writing a book! Yes, for real this time.

Before any of you start hyperventilating about whether I'm finally going to publish my long-awaited novel about a young boy, his lactose-intolerant aardvark sidekick, and their quest to find Jimmy Hoffa's body, let me put the kibosh on that particular fantasy right off.
It is not a novel. It does not focus on the antics of a streetwise teen and his insect-ingesting mammalian playmate. Nor does it involve any other fanciful whims that spring to life from my notoriously fertile/unreliable brain.

In fact, I am writing a pictorial history of Waco for a company called Arcadia Publishing. As of a few weeks ago, I am officially under contract with a deadline of early December to have the book written, proofed, and sent to the printers. Consider me officially big time. And, coincidentally, Big Time Stressed.

The title will be "Images of America: Waco." It's part of a series they've been doing for a number of years; towns all across America with rich histories and a plethora of pictures are their prime targets, and they've wanted to add Waco to the series for some time now. Fortunately for them (and, perhaps, unfortunately for me), I came in contact with Arcadia at the Texas Association of Museums annual conference back in March, and through a series of back-and-forth communiques, it was determined that they wanted me to write the book. I was flattered, to say the least.

The book will be available nationwide in the spring of next year. It will feature 127 pages of high quality photographs spanning from 1849 to 2000; each photo will be accompanied by an extended caption. I'm also going to include some chapter introductions and a couple of two-page panorama shots.

Needless to say (but I'll say it anyway), I'm very excited about this project. Not only will it be an awesome opportunity personally, but I hope this book will help people see Waco in a different light. Perhaps next time when I tell someone I'm from Waco they'll say, "Oh, that's where the first bridge over the Brazos River was built!" and not, "Hey, that's where the Feds burned all those kids and religious zealots alive! Whacko!" Sure, that may be a bit of a lofty goal, but I'm a dreamer if nothing else.

I'm putting out the call across town for people's help in getting images and information, so if you know someone in Waco who might be a good source, please pass along any relevant info -- I'll be much obliged. And don't be surprised if I start posting even less frequently as the deadline starts to loom. I'm committed to getting this thing written (while working full-time AND going to grad school), but it may mean a dip in my sanity reserves and a lack of longing for writing blog posts.

But I shall try to keep you all up-to-date on my endeavors, and I won't completely forsake this so recently claimed land on the frontier of the Internet. Just cut a Curmudgeon some slack if he's not as witty or verbally astute as usual, would you kindly?

Until next time, this is the Curmudgeon saying spread the word far and wide: there's a new Waco pictorial history book headed to town, and it's playing for keeps.

Days Four and Five: Museums, Magazine St., and My Super Smart Wife

Greetings, gentle readers, and welcome to the final installment of the Curmudgeon and Long Suffering Wife's trip to the Big Easy -- New Orleans! Sorry it's taken so long to post, but I've been up to my cranky keister with some exciting new developments in Curmudgeonland, which I shall duly inform you about in due time, but for now, it's on to Days Four and Five!

The first half of day four was spent at what was arguably my favorite stop of the trip: The National World War II Museum. Originally created as the D-Day Museum, which honored not only the men who fought on 6/6/1944, but also the Higgins Boat Company: headquartered in New Orleans, the company made the iconic landing craft we all associate with the invasion, so it made sense to locate the D-Day museum in NOLA. After such a positive response, the museum's scope grew, and it was eventually designated the nation's official WWII museum.

Museum/WWII geek porn

I won't go into detail or bore you all with the dozens of photos I took inside, but a few pics should illustrate what made this museum such a moving experience for me, an avowed WWII-phile and budding museum professional. First off: a shot of one of the aforementioned Higgins boat/LCPs and the LSW, who is just viewing the heck out of that text panel.

The LSW appreciates one of the collection's showpieces

One of the more interesting and (I thought) impactful displays was the one that showed the relevant strength of the Japanese, German, and US armies prior to the outbreak of hostilities in 1939. Rather than throw cold numbers in your face, the museum chose to create this display, which used plastic army men, each representing 2,000 soldiers. It really puts the disparity into pretty sharp focus, don't you think? Also, this was voted the "Display Eric Could Never Be Responsible For, Owing To His Enormous Man Hands and Clumsy Disposition" by the LSW and myself.

Installations Eric should never create: Exhibit A

The museum does an admirable job covering not only the course of the war, but also life on the homefront, propaganda on both sides, personal stories/oral histories, and a slew of artifacts. One of my favorite shots is below, of a crate filled with Hershey's chocolate packaged up and ready for the G.I.s.

Mmmm, chocolaty!

Perhaps the coolest installation was a replica of one of the German bunkers that studded the Normandy coastline. You could stand inside of it and get a feel for what the defenders saw as they looked out over the beach that fateful June day.

How the other half saw D-Day

Overall, we had a really good time at the museum, even the LSW, who is not normally all that excited about WWII and its attendant artifacts, memorabilia, and husband-related obsessing. I highly recommend stopping in if you're ever in the New Orleans area. Even if you don't consider yourself a big fan (is that the right term? "Fan"? Like, "Dude, I've got to rush out and see WWII when they're in town next week!" That sounds kind of weird, right? Moving on.) of World War II, you owe yourself a visit.

The rest of day four included shopping on Magazine Street, something which several travel guides and magazines had said would be a world-class experience with plenty of fun for all. Friends, let me burst your bubble a little bit: magazines and travel guides lie. When they say Magazine Street shops have lots of "unique items," "wonderful antiques" and "friendly people," they really mean "crap," "expensive crap," and "crappy people."

Now, I can hold my own in an antique shop with the best of them, and I don't mind being in stores where I know it would take a year's pay to buy the cheapest item, but there was no excuse for the attitudes we received from 90% of the shopkeepers on Magazine. Ranging from bored indifference to outright condescension, I think the worst was the store we entered where we were greeted only by the shopkeeper's dog. That's right, his DOG. He didn't even bother to look up from his computer to address the ONLY CUSTOMERS IN HIS STORE. At least the dog didn't nuzzle my crotch or anything; that would have added insult to indignity, right there.

For dinner, we decided to splurge a bit and try the Red Fish Grill, and lemme tell you, are we ever glad we did. We both ordered their signature grilled red fish, which was excellent, but the crowning jewel of the night (and, in my opinion, the culinary experience of the week) was the double chocolate bread pudding. Yes, I said double chocolate: a dark chocolate-based pudding covered with a toffee crust, almond bark shards, and melted white and milk chocolate. Folks, this thing was decadent in a way I'm not capable of describing, and it was absolutely to die for. I have dreams about this stuff, it's that amazing.

We topped off day four with a viewing of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, which I enjoyed far more than I was afraid I might. As a huge fan of the franchise, I was afraid it would disappoint, but overall it was well worth the ticket price.

Day five found us jonesing for something other than the (admittedly tasty) continental breakfast at the hotel, so we moseyed ourselves out to -- you guessed it -- Cafe du Monde! As usual, it was crowded, hot, fresh, delicious, and slap-your-momma good times for all.

Our fellow gluttons

Pretty in pink (and, later, powdered sugar)

After breakfast, I got a few more shots of Jackson Square, this time with some better views of the statue of Andrew Jackson, as evidenced below.

Horsin' around with Old Hickory

As a nice cap to the trip, a friendly young fellow took our picture as we overlooked Jackson Square. Despite the fact that it looks like I'm wearing the world's skinniest band uniform sash, I think it turned out quite nicely, don't you?

Touristas!

On the way back to the hotel, I was grifted out of $10 by a fast-talking kid with a thick creole accent who "cleaned" my sneakers with a mystery liquid I suspect was probably dish soap and human sweat. He hooked me by saying he could guess where I bought my shoes just by looking at them, a statement I found so ridiculously impossible that I stupidly returned his boast with an, "Oh, yeah?" which then led to his fast-talking me into shining my shoes. He then attempted to extort $10 PER SHOE out of me, but fortunately, the LSW is much smarter/craftier than myself, and she convinced him we only had $10 cash left on us. He took it grumblingly, and I've never been prouder of the LSW than I was when she hosed the grifter in N'awlins. That's why I married her, folks.

Overall, we thoroughly enjoyed our trip to New Orleans, and I'd recommend that if you haven't been, you find a reason to go and just do it. You won't be disappointed, and if the best thing that happens to you is a warm, delicious Cafe du Monde beignet, consider yourself to have lived a full life.

Some non-NOLA-related postings to come soon, but until then, enjoy yourselves out there, and keep an eye out for smooth talking Cajuns. Adieu!