8/16/09

The UFO Festival Parade -- Roswell, NM

I know it's been a long time since I've broken radio silence, but the wife has posted some photos on her blog of our recent trip to Roswell, NM over the Fourth of July weekend, and as she decided to call me out on my lack of recent posts, I thought I'd answer by giving you all a glimpse at what was one of the strangest events from that weekend of a scant month ago: the UFO Festival Parade.

We'll start with a look down Main Street (below).

Looks normal enough, right? Lots of cars, people milling around, clear skies. So why does Evin look so frightened?


Because kids are freaking smart, that's why. She knew -- KNEW -- that there was going to be some freaky stuff going down that night, and it might have started when she saw the guy in the next pic.

Yup, it's a Yoda backpack. Innocuous, you say? Not enough to give an infant the Bug-Eyed Crazy Stare, you say? You may be right. But do you know what is? THIS:


AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!


Later, the parade got started in earnest. Yes, that is Jefferson Starship (minus Grace Slick) riding on a trailer hitched to a pickup truck bearing a banner proclaiming them the "Grand Martians" for the parade. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Up next, a gaggle of aliens from various points of the galaxy.

Followed by an alien of a much more local type: the Split-Bearded Redneck Dragon Enthusiast.

Also: the streets were full of Pooh.

Unless I miss my guess, these next folks are only about 2 decades too late to jump on the hey-aren't-the-Coneheads-hip-and-cool bandwagon. But extra points for putting their ACTUAL CHILD in a spaceship-shaped stroller.

Much to my surprise, there were not one but TWO different "floats" created by companies that promised to give your little ones the birthday of their dreams thanks to the presence of people dressed in costumes. And by "birthday of their dreams," I of course mean "event that will haunt their recurring nightmares well into adulthood."

The tall drink of water on the right (below) was a dude. We'll leave it at that.


Our "out of state" visitors even have an official welcome vehicle!


Finally, things wrapped up with a trio of "out-of-this-world" (sorry) musicians who tried (mostly in vain) to get people pumped and singing along to some original compositions. Their lack of success in that area proved that aliens continue to crash in Roswell right up to the present.

I hope you enjoyed this long-delayed, mostly mocking pictorial overview of the UFO Festival Parade in Roswell, NM. And I hope you're not scarred for life by the bug-eyed lady smoking cigarettes, as I was.
-- The Curmudgeon












4/20/09

A Note Concerning the Release of My Book, or, Hey, Something I Wrote is Available on Amazon.com!

Greetings, gentle readers, and congratulations on witnessing an event that has become as rare as finding an honest politician: That’s right, it’s an updated GGR post! Despite my assertions that I would not wait several months to update this little corner of the Internet, I have indeed been remiss in my blogging responsibilities, and it has been months since I last broke my communicative silence.

But I’m happy to report that I’m back, if for no other reason than to – what else? – hock my new book, Waco, which is available from a number of reputable online retailers! That’s right, the book I spent the last half of last year working on is coming ever closer to being a physical reality in brick-and-mortar stores around the country, but it’s available for pre-orders on major booksellers’ Web sites RIGHT NOW. (Note: I am barely able to restrain my Inner Teenage Girl at the moment; she’s the part of me that wanted to end the previous sentence with, “OMG! ;)!!!!11!!1!!” Thank God I was able to keep her under wraps.)


You can find Waco, part of the Images of America series from Arcadia Publishing, online at:

Arcadia Publishing

Amazon.com

BarnesandNoble.com

GoHastings.com

Borders.com

It would be unbelievably gauche of me to suggest you purchase Waco at any one of these retailers over the other, as they will all count towards my sales totals, but if I were able to crack the top 500,000 books available on Amazon.com, I would probably just about die, so if putting me near the verge of the Great Beyond is something that gives you any amount of joy, try Amazon first. Otherwise, I make the following offer to any and all who purchase my book: If you bring me a copy, I will sign it for you, free of charge, and – even better! – I’ll sign it with Whatever You Want Me To Say. That’s right, no matter how dirty, inappropriate, salacious, delicious, or destructive, I will autograph your copy of Waco with my very own Sharpie – no questions asked.

So get out there and start inflating my sales numbers, gentle readers!

Until next time, this is the Curmudgeon saying that though I have been absent from your screens the past few months, rest assured that you have not been absent from my heart. (Note: the preceding sentence was intended as a sop to your consciences so that you might be motivated to purchase my book. I hope that wasn’t too transparent.)